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As we know parenting is probably one of the most difficult things in life. Being a good parent is even more difficult and complicated. Parenting brings you under the umbrella of huge responsibilities and it is really hard to complete and fulfill them all. At the same time it is sometimes so hard to understand own children and to set good relations with them. This may seem easy at first, but it is a hard thing in fact. Things get even more difficult when you are not the biological father of the child. When the baby is small things can be fine, but if it is not a baby but a child then it must be really hard for him or her to accept the stepfather. So let’s see how the stepfather should regulate the relations with the stepchild. What does he need to be or to do?
The very first thing is that at the early stage you should not try to pretend being the biological father because the biological father may be present in his or her life. In this case it will mean that you steal someone else’s role which will make you bad in child’s eye. So do not try to pretend being the biological father.
You have to be tolerant and patient with him. The child may have some psychological issues connected to the issues between biological mother and fathers. This can lead him fall into stress and make him act rude to you, though you have always been loving, caring and attentive. This is just a time issue. By the time things will calm down and he will start to accept your love little by little.
Spend time with him, but do his or her own activities. This will make the child think that you respect him or her, and that you are interested in the same things. Even if you are not interested, if you want good relationship with the child, you have to pretend. This will make you a cool stepfather in his eye, and he or she will start loving your presence and spending time with you.
If you have your own children, then do not put any difference between your own child and the stepchild. For example if you buy a present, but the same for both. This will show that you treat him as his own one and he or she will start appreciating you.
Then you can also involve him into your own activities. May be he will start liking them and will think of you as someone who has got his own great personality and individuality.
Try to be the leader, but as a team player. This means that actually there are 2 leaders, the child and you. You should try to be the upper leader, but always listen to his or her own aspirations, and taking into account the child’s opinion.
The last tip has a lot to do with the child’s mom. Make the child understand that you really love her and that she is happy with you. Make the child see that happiness in mom’s eyes. Also you should try to create the atmosphere of a full family with stability and peace.
Trust me, at this case the child will really start loving and appreciating you. These were the 7 most important tips for stepfathers on how to treat the stepchild. I know parenting is not easy but if you love the mother then you have to be a good dad for her child. The tips will definitely help you with making the child fall into best relationship with you.
