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Many parents just cannot live with their husbands or wives anymore. Family is a big risk and challenge and not many people are able to take it fully. So this actually means that family life is not for everyone. Besides this there are many things that people should take into consideration. Before forming family you must thing whether you can handle the responsibilities and whether you are ready for the family life or not. Most of the people just marry, because they are told it is the time to marry. However, this kind of families is not sustainable as a rule, and they end up very early. Actually it is not even about the couple. Sometimes the couple already has children or child, but there are some conflicts that make the family split. Parents decide that they have better divorce than stay as a family. On the contrast with this, some other parents think that they should keep the family by all the means just for the sake of the child. However is this right thing to do? All these are issues and questions that need to be observed.
Actually some parents are afraid that the child or the children will blame them for being divorced. This may really happen. When the child is still a kid, he or she likes to blame both parents for divorce. All the children take the divorce of the parents heavy and they think that parents do not think about them at all. This is quite natural, because kids are kids and the do not go much into details and they cannot understand many things.
Another issue is that it is not also good, if you keep the family for the child. First of all if the child is the only reason why you keep the family, then it means that the family will not be a healthy one and the child will feel it for sure. The children notice the unhealthy atmosphere of the family very early. Besides this, not divorcing for the child means that you sacrifice your own life for the child. This is also bad, because sometimes parents have to think about themselves as well and about the things that make them happy.
The hardest thing for the parents to feel is that they are making their children really sad and let them down. The biggest fear of divorce is the idea that the child will blame you for everything and will consider you as being a bad parent. This usually happens when the child is still under 10 years old. Actually this depends on the child and how matured the child is. If the child is under 10, the he or she will take the divorce very hard. If the child is a teenager, then things may change a little bit. The child may somehow understand you, but he or she may feel very bad about it. Still the teenage child will think that you had other option, and that you could save the family.
When the child becomes adult, he slowly understands that he or she did very wrong by blaming you and the child also understands that it is better to divorce, then to bring the child up in awful and ill family atmosphere. So when the child is an adult, you no more become a bad parent for him or her and the child starts to understand all the decisions that you made.
Besides this, when the child is an adult, he or she is closer to the age that you decided to divorce and really can understand you better.
Actually no matter how old your child is, any divorce is a painful experience for any child. The child becomes psychologically affected and falls into pressure. He or she starts to think differently and kind of blames you. We do not think that divorcing is becoming a bad parent. Most of the parents divorce in order to provide a healthy atmosphere for the child. So if you think that the family is unhealthy and will not provide the child peace and love, then you should really divorce. However, if there is an opportunity to save the family, then do save.
