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Divorce does affect to your parenting and in fact it has a negative impact on your children. The topic of divorced parents is really a painful one for children. It for sure will have a negative impact on the children’s psychology, mentality. It will definitely affect the way he or she perceives the right image of family and many other aspects of child’s life. However, parents have been largely overlooked when it comes to being a divorced parent. It is not easy for parents also. First of all they have to decide with whom the child is going to live, who shares what kind of responsibilities and some other staff. The parents’ phycology may be ruined as well.
When the divorce is somehow in old ages, it is easier to take both for children and for parents. Children are grown up already, and they have already entered into adult life, they know that divorce is better than having a bad family. While when children are kids, they want to see their parents together, no matter the fact they will be happy together or just the opposite. The same is usually with parents, when they are younger they take divorce easier, than the older ones, however, this is very individual.
How can divorce affect parenting? The first thing that comes to your mind is that you have to kind of divide your child into 2 pieces. I know this does not sound good at all, but that is the truth. You child must choose with whom to live and this may break your heart, if the choice is not you. On the other hand, you must choose the one, who has more time to share with the child. You may see your child less and this also breaks your heart. Sometimes you even feel awkward, if you meet very rarely.
You should hide that you are not happy with the situation from your child because he or she may blame you more for the things you did not achieve as a family. If you have any kind of serious problem with your ex-wife or ex-husband then avoid talking about the problem much in front of your child because this may picture you negatively.
You should always be in your senses. If the child is small, he or she most often blames parents for divorce, so actually if you do not show up in stabile mood and be somehow out of your senses then you definitely will be a bad parent for the child.
Actually when you are divorced parent you should do many things to make the child be by your side and love you and want to spend some time with you. This is hard to do, because each of the parents wants to push the baby into his or her own side. So sometimes divorce results in some kind of competition between both parents, where the parents compete to get more love from the child.
If you are not luck with your ex, then he or she may try to convince the child that you are not good. Actually this is really bad, because that is not a good way to grow the child, but as studies show this is one of the side effects of being a divorced parent. Instead of showing love from both sides, one of the parents tries to orient the child against the other one.
Divorce also requires making you more creative as a parent, because your child expects that you will not disappoint him or her very badly, so you just have to work few times more, in order not to show your shortcoming to your child.
When your child grows up try to explain him why you divorced but do it in more natural way, explaining all the details and showing that divorce is better, than the unhealthy atmosphere in the family. Show that it is not good to make a kid grow up seeing how parents fight, and solve some issues. This is how your child will slowly understand you and will appreciate your wish to help him or her. At the same time, you should not talk bad about the other parent of the child, this is what he or she will appreciate you more.
Actually being a divorced parent feels really hard and has lots of disadvantages, the biggest of all is that you have to share your child. However, you have to understand that sometimes it is better to divorce than to torture yourself, your partner and your child in so called “family”, which is not a good one. However, if not everything is lost, and there are chances to be a good family, then use those chances because a good family is of course the best way of parenting.
